Unconfident: How Can I Rely On the Counsel of Flawed Men?

I received a request for advice from a close friend and I feel honored to be able to help him and that he trusts me with this.

Unconfident wrote [Tuesday, April 19, 2022 at 4:12 PM]:

I’m just sorting through some internal disputes over the last few months. …

It’s just that while I don’t doubt we are in the truth, I’ve had some misgivings lately. One in particular:

The Watchtower two weeks ago was good. I liked it. But Paragraph 15 did sort of bother me.

We are told to just obey any direction given during the worst time in human history. Even if the direction *seems* counter productive.

Now generally speaking I have no problem with them saying that. 

But then it was written that even though God will not speak to us to quell our questions, we are still expected to obey. 

So what bothered me was that the brothers have made mistakes in the past, and they have admitted those mistakes. And I am happy that they did admit them. But how can we obey, essentially, without question, during the Great Tribulation, brothers who make mistakes, and especially when God won’t speak to us?

It will be a life and death situation then. So that’s what has been bothering me. I am expected to obey instruction that I don’t understand, when my life could be in danger. 

Thank you for listening. I just want to reiterate that I’m not doubting that we have the truth, but I’m just bothered by that and need some clarity. …

The other issues are just minor. I shouldn’t have said “misgivings” for the other stuff- but they are small issues.

Like I never really enjoyed zoom or the mask requirement at the meetings we have now. But those I work out by just doing what I have to do to keep the peace. 

The “obedience” issue is my biggest hurdle, because now it seems to me to be somewhat unquestioned, because I’ve never got that impression from the GB before.

It’s a new one on me actually.

JW Advisor: What has the organization done or said in the past that shakes your faith in their ability to direct us during the Great Tribulation? [Friday, April 22, 2022 at 3:17 PM]

Unconfident wrote [Friday, April 22, 2022 at 3:36 PM]:

Hey bro thanks for the question.

With me it’s just that I have a hard time reconciling that we have to obey essentially, without question, brothers who make mistakes, as if they won't make any mistakes during the GT.

The brothers freely admit they are not inspired and have erred. I love that about them. It makes them humble.

But it’s like we are now being asked to ignore that they are not inspired and have erred before and just obey.

It just troubled me. Because I would have to basically suspend what I know about what they’ve taught us over the decades about their human imperfections and mistakes.

Hope that makes sense. …

Personally, the terms “obey” and “obedience” has soured on me.

I’m no rebel, but I’ve grown drastically fatigued over the past 2 years with being told by even the world to “obey this, obey that” and the constant rules and restrictions with no end in sight.

So it’s become a word that makes me cringe when I hear it from anyone.

I’ve thought about this since that WT so it can make sense to me but I am having issues reconciling it.

JW Advisor: Has the organization ever said anything different than our need to follow direction during the Great Tribulation? Has anything changed in their message? [Friday, April 22, 2022 at 3:47 PM]

Unconfident wrote [Friday, April 22, 2022 at 3:52 PM]:

Well, I have never heard them say bluntly to not second guess them. 

That added statement was the troubling part for me. It was usually implied. 

Mainly because I didn’t think they ever wanted unquestioned obedience. I spent years online arguing against that accusation opposers levied. Because unquestioned obedience was always seen as a negative trait associated with “cults”.

That’s not to say I’m gonna question the brothers. I’m just shocked personally at the bluntness there.

I guess it has something to do with the brothers sort of being ambiguous perhaps.

Example: we are “strongly encouraged” to wear masks. Is that a requirement, or is it optional?

Then if its required, say it’s required, because my elders don’t say it’s required, but they say you’re being obedient if you wear one, which implies I’m not obedient if I don’t wear one. But how can I disobey something not required? …

And this doesn’t mean I’m losing faith - I just interpret this as the brothers shifting on this issue.

My interpretation could certainly be misplaced. But it’s just my view which could be flawed and off base.

JW Advisor: … I neglected to ask if you could provide some examples of direction given by the organization that has ever resulted in anyone's harm. I have been trying to find something, but am coming up empty-handed. If you know of something, let me know. I could better address your concern. … Knowing any mistakes made could help me be more precise. [May 3, 2022 at 7:34 PM]

Unconfident wrote [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 6:21 PM]:

Hey bro. To answer your question, I’ll be brief and to the point. 

The Slave has never caused me harm spiritually or physically. … 

Well I don’t think there is a time organizationally, when we were given direction that fits the criteria of appearing “strange” or “illogical” (i’m just quoting the article in question) so it would seem to be unprecedented during that time.

Which means that there is no real track record. Does that make sense to you bro.

I guess to me it’s the way the paragraph was worded. Because personally I never really had this issue coming to my mind until then.

JW Advisor: I think there has been times when it seemed strange or illogical, but I'm talking about HARM, not seeming silliness. [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 6:29 PM]

Unconfident wrote [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 6:39 PM]:

Well, there was harm in some direction, but I’m not sure if you would call this inherent to the circumstances or due to the direction (I really hate to bring this up because I believe they were following Bible principles) was in Malawi.

Of course I don’t blame the GB of the time, but that direction to refuse political involvement caused the government to kill many of our brothers, or the flag salute issue here. 

But I’m just merely attempting to answer your question. 

So personally I believe that there is inherent harm in any direction that will put us against those in authority. 

Even the direction from Jesus to preach even if commanded to stop did put the apostles in harm’s way for the sake of the Kingdom. 

So that’s why I personally kind of had a bit of an issue with the paragraph. Because harm can be inherent to the circumstances. Which is why I think Jehovah’s direct approval would be welcomed during the GT.

JW Advisor: I want you to examine this statement and tell me what is wrong with the inherent perspective:

"that direction to refuse political involvement caused the government to kill many of our brothers."

Focus in on those words: "caused the government to kill". [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 6:42 PM]

Unconfident wrote [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 6:43 PM]:

I get your point.

JW Advisor: I would like you to put it into words so that you can be sure to change your future perspective, if you don't mind. [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 6:43 PM]

Unconfident wrote [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 6:44 PM]:

Yeah I personally totally blame the government. But still, regardless, people had to die no matter whose fault it was.

JW Advisor: But it was NOT the organization's fault at all, nor the fault of God, Jesus or the Bible. [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 6:45 PM]

Unconfident wrote [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 6:47 PM]:

Yeah, I think you’ve been knowing me long enough and well enough, I got no problem with following direction. I’ve been doing this as I’ve been baptized.

It just only gave me pause to read that I would have to follow direction that could result in my death or that of my wife and I cannot question it. 

It’s a heavy thing to me personally.

JW Advisor: Their direction did not cause us harm. Our steadfast stand on the subject did not cost lives. We were not responsible for those atrocities. [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 6:48 PM]

Unconfident wrote [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 6:53 PM]:

You know as well, I think this whole issue is predicated on whether or not you as an individual believes that Jehovah is guiding the direction.

That’s the heart of the issue.

JW Advisor: Change that "you" to "I" and restate it to yourself.

That is what I "wrote a book about" in response to your concern. But now it goes deeper.

One day your life WILL most certainly be on the line because of our neutrality because we refuse to conform to the world. The whole world is going to come after us. The question is whether you will stand fast no matter the threat to you or your family, or will you blame the organization for putting you or your wife in danger in that circumstance? [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 6:55 PM]

Unconfident wrote [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 7:01 PM]:

Yeah I’ve applied that statement to myself well before we spoke. 

But yeah I’ve never blamed the organization for what happened to some brothers, as I said before, you are in control of your own actions (speaking of those who murdered them). 

Now if you’re asking me if I will stand fast in the face of death, I can only say I hope so, and pray that I will.

I don’t expect each and every last one of Jehovah's witnesses to make it. I just hope that I am one of the ones that will. And my wife.

Not each and every Christian stayed faithful to Jesus. Sheep and goats, ya know?

JW Advisor: That is what the article was about: Learn to be obedient in the little things, standing fast for the truth no matter the circumstance, and it will be easier to obey as the Great Tribulation nears its end.

My point is only that I have been unable to find where the direction from the organization has itself led to anyone's harm, like telling us to go left when we should go right. Certainly if Jehovah is the one directing us through Jesus Christ based on scriptural wisdom, it would certainly be the case that the direction would never steer us wrong.

As one person put it, they can see things from a perspective we cannot because each of us are individual footsoldiers, but they are in the command position receiving information that we have limited or no access to because of our limited resources. Will we trust our field commanders and help them succeed or go our own way on the battlefield full of enemy soldiers? [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 7:21 PM]

Unconfident wrote [Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 8:00 PM]:

That’s a good analogy.

JW Advisor: Our standing firm on one occasion saves countless lives in the future. Not only that, it upholds Jehovah's name. Imagine if the Society directors had not stood firm against the courts in the first half of the twentieth century. We would not have all the freedoms to preach and spread Jehovah's word today and many freedoms that even our disgruntled former members enjoy would not even exist. If we had not stood strong against the clergy, millions more could be suffering at their hands today. Our word has liberated millions from false religion. Without our standing strong, we would not have Jehovah's blessing and we could have been easily stamped out or end up turning back to Christendom.

Remember, too, that saying it is our responsibility to stop a government from killing us is to blame the victim. We have done nothing deserving of death, but they execute us for speaking about our beliefs or for our neutrality, as in Malawi. They claim we cost the lives of our members and then they kill our members. We are not the perpetrators and we are no more responsible for the actions of the perpetrators than first century Christians were. Standing firm in our beliefs is what preserves true worship. One of those beliefs is that Jehovah is the one directing the organization through Jesus Christ in holy spirit. If we faulter in that belief, what is the point to our believing anything else?

"Obedience" Has No Caveats

My brother, the Scripture says, "Be obedient to those who are taking the lead among you and be submissive, for they are keeping watch over you as those who will render an account" (Heb. 13:17) What do you think? should we consider this subtle, or is it very clear? Is it only asking us to be obedient as long as the direction makes perfect sense to us? Does the specific circumstance of making sense to every member make a difference as to whether we should obey? Would you care about the validity of the direction if it made sense to you, but not to someone else? Should its validity be questioned if just one person is unable to understand it or sees it as "counter-productive"?

In line with 1 Thessalonians 5:21, let us consider a couple of publications.

• Watchtower, May 15, 2009, p. 13, par. 13: Obedience that comes from pressing on to maturity will prove to be no less lifesaving when we face the major fulfillment of Jesus’ prophecy that “there will be great tribulation” of unequaled magnitude. (Matt. 24:21) Will we prove to be obedient to whatever future urgent direction we may receive from “the faithful steward”? (Luke 12:42) How important it is that we learn to ‘become obedient from the heart’!​—Rom. 6:17.
• Watchtower, March 2016, p. 21, par. 18: Indeed, to keep receiving God’s blessing, we need to pay attention to all the directions provided through the Christian congregation. Having an obedient spirit now will help us to follow directions during the “great tribulation,” which will eliminate Satan’s entire evil system. (Matt. 24:21)
• Watchtower, October 15, 2014, pp. 24-25: We may initially lack full understanding of the reasons for carrying out our assigned work in a particular way. Nevertheless, we are fully aware of the benefits of cooperating with Jehovah in any adjustments that he sees fit to make.
• Watchtower, August 15, 2014, p. 21: In effect, Jesus also conveys Jehovah’s voice to us as he directs the congregation through “the faithful and discreet slave.” (Matt. 24:45) We need to take this guidance and direction seriously, for our everlasting life depends on our obedience.

I recommend reading those articles and getting the sense. This is an important lesson that is being pressed. The February 15, 2015 Watchtower, pp. 5-9, par. 10 says, "Above all, we can show humility by our obedience. It takes lowliness of mind to “be obedient to those who are taking the lead” in the congregation and to accept and follow the direction we receive from Jehovah’s organization.​—Heb. 13:17."

As you can see, acceptance and obedience to "all" direction from the faithful and discreet slave and our local congregation, especially during the Great Tribulation, has been consistently pressed, even if we "lack full understanding of the reasons." I could go much further back if I wanted. But I don't think it's necessary. Obedience to direction that does not make sense to us was not given special attention because it was covered by the general counsel to obey.

We are again going to receive direction to "be obedient when you receive direction that you do not understand" (p.14, par. 5) in the March issue as well. While the February issue did not say "seems counterproductive", the March issue does say, "seemed ill-advised" regarding the Jews obeying the direction to continue building the temple despite opposition, under the heading, "When It Is Challenging to Follow Direction". It then calls attention to Zerubbabel and Joshua being Jehovah's representatives and how they sought Jehovah's reassurance in paragraph 14. Paragraph 16 says, "At times, this slave may give direction that we do not fully understand," and then gives specific examples of how it might seem "impractical".

But now, consider how Noah was mocked for building a water craft on dry land, or his sons and daughter-in-law for helping him. Surely it would have made more sense to the world and to his sons and daughters-in-law to build an actual boat on water. But his children obeyed and the mockers were washed away.

It Is Jehovah's Way, Not Man's

For context, the paragraph in question says: "As the end of this system of things draws near, we need to trust in Jehovah’s way of doing things as never before. Why? During the great tribulation, we may receive instructions that seem strange, impractical, or illogical. Of course, Jehovah will not speak to us personally. He will likely provide direction through his appointed representatives. That will hardly be the time to second-guess the direction or to view it with skepticism, wondering, ‘Is this really coming from Jehovah, or are the responsible brothers acting on their own?’ How will you fair during that crucial time in human history? The answer might be indicated by how you view theocratic direction now. If you trust the direction we receive today and readily obey, you will likely do the same during the great tribulation.​—Luke 16:10."—Watchtower, February 2022, Study Edition, "Do You Trust in Jehovah's Way of Doing Things?", p. 6, par. 15., Watchtower Bible and Tract Society.

Note that the entire article is asking us to "trust in Jehovah's way of doing things." Consider what that means. It is not asking us to accept the word of men as coming from Jehovah. Though the paragraph does leave open the possibility of receiving direction from Jehovah during the Great Tribulation. But if not, what does this saying refer to? What is "Jehovah's way of doing things"?

We are talking about a "way of doing things." This is referring to procedure. Has Jehovah given us a procedure, a "way" to follow that can help us during the Great Tribulation? Indeed he has. He has given us organization and leadership. He has given our leadership (those taking the lead) many guiding principles upon which, we know for a fact, they have faithfully relied and on which they will continue to rely. Will Jehovah's principles fail us? If men fail, has God's guidance failed? Is God's guidance so incomplete as to be unable to overcome mistakes? If a mistake occurs, is Jehovah's hand cut short that he would leave his faithful ones with guidance that would jeopardize them? This has never been the case. Have faith, not in men, but in Jehovah's way, and in his holy spirit. Strengthen your faith that Jehovah loves you and will take care of you during the great tribulation, as long as you remain obedient to the "way of doing things" he has set in place for your good, just like the illustration of the soldier. If you doubt at that time because you have not built your faith now, then you "should not expect to receive anything from Jehovah."—James 1:6-8.

In paragraph 18, the article asks if we would complain about direction after the destruction? Then it says, "One thing is certain: The more we appreciate Jehovah’s provisions now, the more likely we will do so then." (Emphasis theirs.) Could you stand to build your appreciation for Jehovah's provisions?

Flawed, But Still Directed

In paragraph 7, the article says, "The plain truth is that we cannot say that we trust in Jehovah if we do not trust in his earthly representatives​—those whom Jehovah trusts." And par. 9 states: "Jehovah trusts the elders to make such decisions, and we too need to trust them." The article also states: "The more we learn about Jehovah and his standards, the more we develop trust in his judgments." (par. 4) Does that sound unreasonable?

Let us consider the viewpoint they give in par. 7. The article referred to the view some might have had of Moses and David's decisions. Some may have thought that because they were so flawed that they did not deserve our obedience. But now those events are recorded in the Bible as examples that Jehovah wants us to use to make decisions. David sent a man to his death to hide his sin with the man's wife, yet Jehovah still used him. Has the organization ever committed such sins? I cannot recall any. There were unfounded accusations of adultery and other sins against individual Society Directors and Governing Body members, but thankfully the body is made up of more than one man. It is multiple men concerned with sticking to the Scriptures rather than their own human wisdom.

Do you not believe that the Governing Body acts as "the faithful and discreet slave" when gathered together? What does that mean to you? Are they not faithful in sticking as closely as they can to God's word and defending his name? Are they not discreet by keeping things close to the chest until they have a decision they believe to be based on Jehovah's word and spirit? Do they not carry out their duties faithfully and discreetly?

Second-Guessing

Is there a Bible verse that encourages second-guessing a leadership that asks nothing unreasonable? But then, the article did not really say "not to second-guess" them, did it? It said that the Great Tribulation "will hardly be the time to second-guess the direction or to view it with skepticism." In other words, get past your doubts now because during the Great Tribulation, struggling with doubts could mean your everlasting life and that of those you love. If you are not confident in their direction at that time, then why waste your time now? You either believe Jehovah is directing the organization or you do not. Second-guessing is not some middle-ground. Sitting on the fence cannot save you from God's wrath can it? Would you not be cut in half?

A Questionable Decision Proved Useful

Also, the article never uses the term "counter-productive". The word used is "impractical", which has a little different meaning. When something is "impractical", it is not working against our goals, but rather seems to fail to act effectively toward a goal. They also use the term "seems … illogical", which also doesn't indicate counter-productive.

There are a number of ways in which something can seem impractical or illogical, but actually be very effective, perhaps not toward the goal in question, but toward another goal that may not be readily apparent, but is useful to us or the organization. But we may never know until we do it.

Back when we first isolated, you thought they were overreacting. But before six months had passed after quarantine, we already had 200,000 dead in the U.S. We have now passed the one million mark of dead due to COVID-19 in the U.S. After I explained the statistics to you, you understood and felt better about it. Masks proved beneficial when the numbers began to come in showing that any time mask mandates were lifted or quarantining was lifted, there were immediate spikes in COVID-19 infections and consequent deaths. As a result of the majority following direction of the organization, Jehovah's Witnesses experienced only a fraction (less than 1/5th) of the deaths the world was experiencing per capita. This is because we started early and stayed late.

We benefited similarly from the implied encouragement to vaccinate. Again, not a rule, but still we benefitted. By continuing to wear our masks, fully covering our nose and mouth at all times in public, even after the government has said that vaccinated people no longer need to wear them, we protect ourselves from becoming superspreaders as has been seen in the resultant spike. By not being superspreaders, we are protected from the accusation and we do not end up persecuted for something that has nothing to do with doing God's will.

Another benefit resulted. Zoom ended up being invaluable even now. Our elderly and infirm, and those at home sick now have an eye inside the meeting and ready chance to participate from home. Their Spiritual health is now bolstered much greater than it was before. The mask request was always optional, but it was for our safety and it proved highly effective. That should build our confidence in their direction. While the churches were moaning about freedom, we and our loved ones were kept safe and our ministry continued, though mildly reduced.

Have you heard of a single person leaving the organization over this direction?

Our Obedience Is Relative, Not Blind

Throughout the history of Jehovah's Witnesses, we have been encouraged to exercise relative subjection and reasonable obedience. Though we are obedient to world leaders and to those taking the lead in the congregations, "we must obey God as ruler rather than men." (Acts 5:29) Additionally, we need to exercise discernment. While direction given may be good for most, a particular situation may call for ignoring direction given if we believe our circumstance would obviously endanger us to follow through with the direction, as long as we are not disregarding Jehovah's name. We must each exercise godly wisdom in any given situation. So when faced with such a dilemma, we need to pray about it, then consider the variables and determine if it is Jehovah's will that you follow through or not in the given situation. He will make it clear to you. The greatest guiding principle in that matter is love, particularly God's love. As the scripture says, "love never fails."—1Co 13:8.

Also, the direction to "stand still and see the salvation of Jehovah" may sound "counter-productive", even dangerous, but there are times that direction has saved me from unnecessary physical altercations and he has planned for it to save all of us the moment the king of the north comes to his end.—Ps 37:7-11; Da 1:44, 45; compare: Ex 10:13, 14; 2Ch 20:1-4; 17-24; Isaiah 36:1, 2; 37:6, 7, 36-38.

Be Discerning

There is a difference between a recommendation, even a strong one, and a requirement. A requirement leaves no room for conscience. But a recommendation says, "This is what we think you should do, but we are leaving the decision up to you." Of course, you may be mildly avoided by some with little regard for autonomy for your so obviously disregarding a recommendation, but no one can require you to do it. A few in my congregation wear their masks in a way that does neither them nor anyone else any good, but nobody says anything because we already know how they feel about it. Wearing the mask the way they do says, "Look. I'm wearing it. Don't bother me about it."

That said, elders are human, but they sometimes confuse recommendations for rules. The elders in my congregation described our wearing our masks as "obedience to the recommendation," but when I looked up such terms on the website, I found no association between any variations of the words "obedience" and "recommendations". So the problem lies with the elder who said it, not with our publications.

If your elders are requiring you to wear a mask, then wear it. (The principle is found at Matthew 23:3) But know that the organization has not required it by consequence of disfellowshipping. If you wish to challenge that requirement from the elders, you may do so by asking them where the publications or a letter (check the assignment board first) require you to wear a mask or show where the penalty for not wearing one is stated. When they say it's about obedience to recommendations, then ask them to show you where it says to obey that recommendation, or barring that, any recommendation that is not a rule. If they finally lean upon text that says to obey the elders, then make it clear to them that they are asking you to obey the elders, and not the organization's recommendation. Yes, obey the elders.

True, it is confrontational, but try to make it as loving as possible. Sometimes medicine requires personal grit and standing your ground to apply, but also as soft a touch as you can manage. I had to do exactly this one time (on a different issue) with elders in my previous congregation and I never again heard about being obedient to any recommendation again. It was unnerving, but it benefitted the elders to understand the limits of their authority and the difference between "disobedience" and personal autonomy. Of course, we should pick our battles wisely. Make sure it is something you feel is important to help the elders or the congregation and not just flexing.

So be sure to properly distinguish between what the organization is asking and what a single flawed elder is asking, or even a body of elders. Obey their direction as long as it is not a danger to you or anyone else, and remember that wives are being asked to give the same obedience to their husbands. This matter of obedience does not come up as much for men as for women. In a dangerous situation, do you not expect your wife to obey your direction for her health? Should she question your direction in the middle of a dangerous situation? Has she not built up trust in your direction? If so, then should you not follow her example and put your trust in the direction from our brotherhood?

Known Errors

Let us take a look at the complaints made against the organization in the past and consider if it should affect our trust in the direction from the organization.

In 1937, Judge Rutherford wrote a letter to Hitler that both sought common ground with the man and that drew a line in the sand similar to the stand made by Daniel's companions. It was not perfectly written, had antisemitic overtones and was in Judge Rutherford's typical no holds barred writing style, but he made no actual threats. He simply stated the consequences of persecuting God's chosen people. Consequences which did, in fact, come upon Hitler. That deranged madman decided only to see the line in the sand and take it as a personal affront and declared that he would bring an end to us. This was a mistake on Rutherford's part not to be more diplomatic and to unilaterally write on behalf of the organization without the joint counsel of all the Watch Tower Society directors. It was not direction to the organization by that body. So it was a mistake by one man, not the body of directors.

Of course, everyone knows about the expected dates that failed to pan out. We also know that none of those were prophecies made by the organization, but were simply overzealous interpretations. Nor were they direction to do or act in any specific way, yet some did take it upon themselves to act in specific ways, even contrary to the direction of both the organization and the Bible. So clearly this did no actual harm to anyone but those who ignored the direction not to put their faith in specific dates.

Opposers claim that we have decried seeking mental health professionals. But I did a deep dive and found no such counsel in our publications. If that attitude ever existed in the organization, it was not at the direction of our publications, even having many issues discussing mental health going all the way back to at least 1932. So that was not a bad call on their part, but if a prejudiced view of mental health professionals ever persisted in the congregations, it was more likely the bias of the age, and no doubt regional.

They did have to improve their direction about child sexual abuse policies, but I know that you know that they were ahead of the curve on child sexual abuse prevention all the way back to 1980. Before then, they were as in the dark as anyone. Yet still their lack of childcare services, the requirement for two elders on a shepherding visit, and instruction to parents to look after the wellfare of their children, protected children, even without our realizing it, long before the child sexual abuse issue ever became a concern in the world.

Regarding blood transfusions, our stand ended up changing the entire world of medicine for the better when they were forced to accept the benefits of it. At first, it seemed nonsensical to some to understand Acts 15:9 to indicate blood transfusions. However, our members died, not because they did not accept blood transfusions, but because the hospitals callously refused to treat them without transfusing blood. (Again, don't blame the victim.) But this saved our brothers from living with diseases like AIDS that infected the blood supply in the early 1980's, as well as various forms of hepatitis into the 90's, and from debilitating effects caused by hemolytic reactions. Today, bloodless medicine has proved safer than blood transfusions on a large scale.

Dismythed has debunked many claims against the organization, but none of those false claims by disgruntled former members has ever claimed that direction by the organization leads directly to any harm to Jehovah's Witnesses. I really cannot think of any bad counsel we have ever received from the organization. Certainly not in the 26 years I have been associated. Nor have I found it in our literature.

Propaganda Is Infectious

Our disgruntled former members know that their lies do not hold up. But it is not the lies they want us to buy into. It is their attitude. What attitude is that? Despising obedience. They know that merely by exposing oneself to negative propaganda, particularly propaganda that inspires fear, in this case, fear of obedience, they can get people to fall away because fear is infectious. They do not have reasoning on their side. They are simply taking advantage of our innate sympathetic reflex. If we read it, see it or hear it, we feel it. If we feel it, we internalize it. If we internalize it, it begins to mold our reactions to similar things we experience. Thus exposure can lead to adoption of negative attitudes.

The world's propaganda is the same. It also promotes independence, fear of obedience to authority or fear of changing the status quo. It is Satan's preferred propaganda because he knows how well it works.

How do we fight against this sympathetic response? By cutting the particular fear out of our daily diet of exposure and diversifying our exposure to things that do not reinforce the same sympathetic response. The more we are exposed to fear, the more we fear. The more we are exposed to a fear of a particular thing, the more we fear that thing.

This sympathetic response also occurs in regard to love, hate, desire, greed, guilt and any other strong feeling. There is nothing wrong with being exposed to those things, but when we give too much attention to any of them, we begin to adopt them because of conditioning through the sympathetic response.

Absolom won people over by exposure to his good deeds and highlighting his father's flaws to develop in them a positive response to him and a negative response to his father. (2Sa 15:1-6) The word of Hymenaeus and Philetus spread like gangrene, not because it was right or logical, but because of the subtlety of "speeches that … lead to more and more ungodliness."—2Ti 2:16, 17.

Our publications and media provide us with regular exposure to spirituality and right thinking. So even if we don't fully understand something, our regular exposure to the information can lead us to right decisions. When Moses said to choose today between Jehovah's way or the highway, he was taking them out of their 'follow whatever our sympathetic response impels us to do' and actually think about their choice of whether they wanted to be a part of Jehovah's way or go their own way. They chose Jehovah's way.

Examining yourself and the choices you make, as to whether they are correct or not, is known as reality-testing. You have the same choice always before you about what you choose to expose yourself to. Will it be positive or negative? Spiritual or worldly? Obedience or going your own way?

When you scan channels or scroll through links in your web feed, or follow a random desire to watch or read some type of material (news, entertainment, etc.), you are letting it, and your sympathetic response, guide what you are exposed to. But when you make a choice for yourself about what is best for you to watch or read, you are taking control of your own life and destiny.

Yes, we do need random input to stay grounded and informed of what is going on and to face challenging ideas that exercise our reasoning skills (each being part of reality-testing), but if you do not take control and diversify that randomness, you will easily get sucked into a negativity spiral and your sympathetic response becomes your autopilot. The echochamber phenomenon that has caused such extreme divisions today is very real and is due to isolated exposure. The prescribed prevention is diversifying what you are exposed to. Of course, as Christians, we should avoid exposing ourselves to ungodliness so that we are not, otherwise preventably, tempted.

If you notice that a lot of the stuff you are being exposed to is negative (particularly toward obedience), why not watch or read something that is not only positive, but will refocus you spiritually? It is in your power. Will you "get the mastery over it"?—Ge 4:7.

The article we have been discussing is asking you to program your mental muscle memory and your sympathetic response, exposing yourself to ideas and people encouraging obedience and practicing obedience now to be ready and willing to obey when the time is right. The March, 2022 Watchtower Study Edition article we just studied, p. 8, par. 1, puts it this way: "... all of us want to have the kind of personality that Jehovah loves. To be that type of person, we need to control our thinking. Why? Because our personality is largely shaped by our thoughts. If we regularly think about what appeals to our fleshly desires, we will say and do bad things. (Eph. 4:17-19) On the other hand, if we fill our mind with good thoughts, we will more likely speak and act in a way that pleases our Father, Jehovah.​—Gal. 5:16."

You need to decide for yourself whether that is a good thing or a bad thing and don't second guess your decision unless something gives you good reason to do so.

If you are not determined to be obedient to Jehovah's organization when the time comes, then to what will you be obedient? How will you know what to do in those circumstances? It is not like the brothers would ask you to kill anyone or commit suicide, is it? You know they would not because of the value of human life they teach more than any other organization, religious or otherwise. In fact, that value of life is the very reason that we can be confident that no matter what they ask of us at that time, it will be for our benefit, even if that direction is to "not be afraid. Stand firm and see the salvation of Jehovah."—Ex 14:13.

If you are still having problems with this issue, I would like you to think about this issue each time you read an article in the Watchtower and ask how the information in the article can help you with it. For example, consider the article in question, par. 8. Statements like that can help us regain perspective. [Monday, May 16, 2022 at ?:?? PM]

Unconfident wrote:

Good stuff.

DoubtDoubts: How Can I Stop Rehashing Doubts?

Note: The following long post has been arranged in a manner similar to a live conversation. Because the replies to each question are separated in time, I have color-coded the timelines in this way:

dark red: DoubtDoubts question [January 27th, 2022, morning]; JW Advisor first reply [January 27, 2022, afternoon]

dark green: DoubtDoubts first reply [January 27, 2022, night]; JW Advisor second reply [February 1, 2022, afternoon]

blue: DoubtDoubts second reply [February 27, 2022, morning]; JW Advisor third reply [March 7, 2022, evening]

orange: DoubtDoubts third reply [March 24, 2020, evening]

DoubtDoubts wrote:

I am not comfortable talking to an elder about this, so I thought asking for help on here might be worth a shot, I am kind of desperate. I am an unbaptized publisher.

I have been having doubts lately, and it feels like when I try to escape it and fight it it gets worse, my brain won’t let me forget.

I would say the major doubt is that it seems that everyone on the internet that is not a Jehovah’s Witness call us a cult, and not just apostates either. It was starting to make me wonder if everyone says I am wrong, then what if I am the one that’s wrong.

Some other doubts are that I heard is that Yahweh is much more accurate than Jehovah. And the governing body lead is despite being human, and have made mistakes.

I guess my main question is how do I overcome these doubts especially because I keep getting reminded of it such as YouTube titles and it feels like entertainment lately has a story on cults etc. I try to read sites like your other site opposers dysmithed and I join a Positive JW forum. And it works for a while but then I would get a reminder of my doubts again or wake up and my brain won’t leave me alone.

I do feel like we are the most accurate religion and our teachings make sense, and I really do want to believe. But I just can’t keep this poison out of my head, and I need HELP.

JW Advisor: The key to overcoming obsessive concerns is decisive certainty, ignoring anything that contradicts that certainty. In a sense, becoming obsessed with the feeling of certainty instead of the feeling of doubt. The talk of certainty below is meant to goad and encourage you in that direction. (Though there is nothing wrong with getting professional help to overcome obsessive behaviors, as long as the professional respects your beliefs.) Take my following replies as a kind discipline in the spirit of love. (Pr 1:23) There is no judgment in goading.

I put everything in context of the original questions to reduce the need to reference other messages. So it will be my question, your answer and then any followup statements or questions from me. My writing partner gave his assent to the second half, but I added the things about certainty and #9 afterward for which I have not gotten a reply back. I'm sending them to you now so as not to keep you waiting. (I understand how obsessive tendencies can make you anxious.)

THE QUESTIONS

1. Do you truly and firmly believe Jehovah God is real and created all things?

DoubtDoubts wrote: #1, Yes I do.

JW Advisor: #1 FOLLOWUP: Then have faith that Jehovah wants to know you and will show you the truth. Faith is certainty, not that a certain thing will occur, but certainty that Jehovah will guide you and help you because he is real and cares about you personally. Be certain that he is always with you. Do you know what certainty feels like? Apply that feeling to Jehovah. Get in the habit of thinking about your reason for certainty and be confident. If doubt still creeps in, ask Jehovah for more faith, certain that he will grant it to you. (Mark 9:23, 24; James 1:5) The more you do this, the more accustomed to certainty you will become as long as you keep relying on Jehovah.

But he that doubts "should not expect to receive anything from Jehovah; he is an indecisive man, unsteady in all his ways." (James 1:6-8) This means while Jehovah may choose to answer a doubter's prayer to strengthen his faith, he is under no obligation to. [But he has obligated himself to hear all prayers of faith and to answer all prayers that are asked in accord with his will for us or his divine plan.—1Jo 5:14; Jas 5:14.]

Doubts are based on a lack of knowledge, not certainty, because where there is certainty, there cannot be doubts. When doubt arises, remember that it is a lack of knowledge. So seek certainty through knowledge of the facts and knowledge of God's ways. (Pr 1:7) A person with faith is certain that God will look after them and help them. (2Sa 22:3, 4) Jehovah leads his people to him, not away from him. So have faith he will lead you with knowledge, not doubts.

Search for and follow the facts, not what liars want you to believe. Be certain that they are liars. (How many consecutive lies does it take for you to be certain that a person is a liar?) You know they are liars, so treat them as such and avoid them. Liars can never give you undeniable facts, only uncertainty and unanswered questions designed to destablize people. Go towards certainty and be certain and you will not fail. You can still be wrong from time to time, but at least you won't be constantly unsteady.

These things are in line with Exposure and Response Prevention therapy for OCD. Though in this matter, you are bombarded frequently. There is no need to seek it out. In fact, seeking it out is part of the obsession and is unwise. (Pr 9:13-18; 22:3) So to counter it, you need to learn the proper response, which is certainty.

JW Advisor: 2. Which verse of Scripture says that we must pronounce God's name, or any name, exactly as the Jews pronounced it?

DoubtDoubts: #2, At first I was thinking of Isaiah 43:10, but then technically it doesn’t say you have [to] say the exact name. And I know that Jesus’s Hebrew name is Yeshua I think but everyone just calls him Jesus.

JW Advisor: #2 FOLLOWUP: You will never find a scripture that says pronunciation matters. Jephthah's men only used language to distinguish one group of Ephraimites from another. The account never said they were wrong for their pronunciation. (Judges 12:4-6)

This is where certainty comes in. You need to convince yourself once and for all that pronunciation does not matter, and be certain in your conviction. Why? Because Jehovah God himself would have made it a big deal if the precise pronunciation of his name were important. If it's not in the Scriptures, then it has not come up into God's mind, and you need to be certain of that fact.—2Ti 3:16, 17.

DoubtDoubts: #2 You have a good point that if it truly mattered that Jehovah would include the vowels and precise annunciation but he didn’t. Also I watched a couple of videos where Yehovah and the English Jehovah are accurate and I am not so hung up now.

JW Advisor: 3. What is the name of our savior?

DoubtDoubts: #3, Jesus Christ, Jehovah’s son, he died for us so we have a hope of everlasting life.

JW Advisor: #3 FOLLOWUP: So, then, are you going to put faith (have certainty) in the son of God? or in the sons of men? Because those who teach the truth about him are the ones being led to salvation. Those trying to undermine faith in that truth are trying to lead you away from Christ. (1Jo 4:6) So decide today who you will follow. Christ? or betrayers of Christ?

DoubtDoubts: #3 I believe in Jesus, so I will follow him. And this [week's] Watchtower was helpful in that the broad road leads to destruction, and the narrow road leads to life; and by trying to live like Jesus we are taking the cramped narrow road.

JW Advisor: 4. Those who call us a cult, do any of them have the true religion?

DoubtDoubts: #4, I don’t know I don’t think so, but there are SO Many different Christian Denominations and everyone thinks they're right.

JW Advisor: #4 FOLLOWUP: So why are you vascillating if you know of nothing better? Even false religions have sense enough to be confident.

One more question regarding #4: What religion would not qualify as a cult under anyone's estimation and why?

DoubtDoubts: #4 I heard/learned that most smaller religions are typecast as Cults, and the bigger religions like Catholicism is not considered a cult even though they use Pagan symbols, and odd practices especially around the pope/Vatican. (I learned from a tour that the way they celebrated mother Mary, looked very similar to the worship of a Babylonian god. As for Vacillating, I have always been indecisive, and I suppose it is easier that way than to pick a side. I guess it is my imperfection or sinful nature.

JW Advisor: Sin makes us weak and/or rebellious. Indecisiveness is a bad mindset to get caught up in out of weakness. The antidote is certainty. Practice it in the little things so that you will be prepared in the big things; get accustomed to it. Be uncertain only if you have good reason to be uncertain, such as a lack of information. Once you have overcome uncertainty on a particular issue, if you never let it come up again, you will not be burdened by it anymore.

To do this, you will have to make a very conscious decision not to ever let it bother you again. Burn that bridge and never look back. You might even make a note of it somewhere where you keep your private thoughts, so that you can review it. I do this every time I solve an issue, and I keep it in a file in Google Drive. I write down what I learned and never look back. Upon escaping the city, Lot was decisive, but his wife was not. You can ask yourself if you will be practiced in decisiveness on the day of judgment?

JW Advisor: The following questions are based on cult identifiers. If the answer to any question is "yes", then please explain:

5. Do Jehovah's Witnesses force people to become Jehovah's Witnesses, such as through reprogramming, "deprogramming" or threat of violence?

DoubtDoubts: #5, No.

JW Advisor: 6. Do Jehovah's Witnesses threaten people (for whatever reason)?

DoubtDoubts: #6, no.

JW Advisor: 7. Do Jehovah's Witnesses mislead people about their teachings?

DoubtDoubts: #7, no.

JW Advisor: 8. Do Jehovah's Witnesses promise one thing, but deliver another (bait and switch)?

DoubtDoubts: #8, no.

JW Advisor: 9. Do Jehovah's Witnesses intimidate people into joining or staying?

DoubtDoubts: #9, Disfellowship; counsel by elders.

JW Advisor: #9 FOLLOWUP: What is the definition of intimidation? How specifically are these things intimidation? When someone counsels you, do you feel intimidated to do something against your will? or do you feel disciplined? How does disfellowshipping serve to keep people in the truth if we are removing them? How does counsel by the elders intimidate people into staying?

I was counseled multiple times during my brief rocky marriage and not once did I feel intimidated into staying. In fact, discipline has the tendency to make someone like me want to leave because I find counsel to be humiliating and embarrassing due to my social anxiety and my avoidant personality. It even caused me to leave on one occasion. I eventually came back, not because of counsel, but in spite of it. The only thing fear of counsel does for me is fear sinning badly enough that I should be counseled. If my intent were to apostatize, I would just leave. But then I have no attachments.

So what of those that do have attachments, like yourself? Have you ever met one of Jehovah's Witnesses who would rather that apostates choose to stay than leave? I have been battling apostate propaganda since 1997. In this time I have been approached by many apostates, and only one of them were afraid to leave the truth because of family. The rest who were infecting their congregations did so with the clearly stated motive to either "spy" on the organization or to turn as many away from the organization as they could before being found out. The one who feared losing contact with their family turned out to have a financial stake in not leaving their family behind.

But I have seen people leave because of their attachment to a disfellowshipped or disassociated family member. But it never happens all at once. It happens because they fail to cut [spiritual] ties with them and then they get infected by the doubts (lack of certainty) that the apostate has worn them down with, not with facts. In fact, apostates depend solely upon instilling doubt by means of unanswered questions and unproved assertions because they know that they cannot provide answers or factual proof in context.

Not even apostates believe their own lies as one former apostate explained to me after his return because of my identifying that very matter about apostates. My words in a public forum identifying that apostates make up lies because they cannot find evidence against us helped him realize that he was tired of regurgitating and inventing lies.

DoubtDoubts: #9 I guess I thought of disfellowshipping as intimidation, or if you do something wrong you will be shunned. Although I know that usually takes a few talks with the elders, and they must be unrepentant. Which I am usually repentant anyways so I shouldn’t really  worry  about it. And your experience was interesting. I guess I didn’t think that apostates would just leave, I thought it was mostly because they were disfellowshipped and got shunned from their family or they have a negative experience  and they turn. That is interesting that you said that apostates don’t believe in their own lies, sometimes they sound so sincere. But I think I would agree that discipline is different than intimidation, especially with the lack of discipline today it is kind of starting to show in the new generation of kids (generation Z) 

JW Advisor: To clarify an earlier statement, when I left, I did not apostatize, I simply became inactive. I was exhausted because my two cases went on for a total of six months (3 months each) due to one particular person's consistent mismanaging both of my cases with misplacing files, failing to send files, failing to make phone calls, and failing to follow up in a timely manner. In fact, the first of the two was because the same person failed to make phone calls and send files 3 years earlier about my divorce.

There is certainly no one way people become apostate. Many apostates do try to convince themselves of the lies, but when someone debunks the lie, they just move on to another and another. They only care about justifying their course. They don't want to take responsibility for their choice. Some do become apostate after disfellowshipping, but I have found that they did so because they could not get a hold of themselves because they relied on their own efforts and not upon Jehovah. Some of those have distorted or incorrect understandings of God's judgment and insufficient faith in salvation through Jesus Christ. They may come to think of God's gift of salvation as conditional upon some personal bias of theirs (such as not forgiving child molesters. It is certainly hard to do, but a molester's judgment will come from Jehovah. Authority to withhold forgiveness belongs to Jehovah and Jesus alone.)

In fact, some think that because the organization is run by flawed people that it cannot be God's organization, but this goes back to 1 Samuel 4, when Israel treated the ark like a magical totem. The power is not in a gold-lined ark of acacia wood, which could be chipped and broken and subject to termites and dry rot, but in God who protects it and grants his people power based upon how they treat it according to his word.

In the end, it always comes down to their seeking justification by hanging onto falsehoods because they don't want to have to explain their own sins or distorted thinking to anyone. My advice to anyone who is intent on leaving is to be honest with themselves about their true motivations and thinking and just leave, don't look back, and find a new support system away from Jehovah's Witnesses. They don't have to explain themself to anyone or justify it. They should own their choice or return. Because if they can't move on then they know their choice was wrong. Someone who knows they have made the right choice never has to look back, nor do they need to convince someone else that their own choice was right.

Now these things are not speculation. We do not need to speculate nor to empathize to come to these conclusions. These are the things apostates demonstrate by their attitudes and behaviors, as well as admit to. It is common prideful human behavior promoted by Satan.

As to discipline, entitlement has indeed been the hallmark of this generation.

JW Advisor: 10. Do Jehovah's Witnesses take active measures to harass or ruin the lives of former members?

DoubtDoubts: #10, no.

JW Advisor: 11. Do Jehovah's Witnesses make it easy to sexually abuse children?

DoubtDoubts: #11, I don’t really know, but it seems so.

JW Advisor: #11 FOLLOWUP: If someone accused you of murder and you go before a court of law and a witness were asked under oath if you murdered someone, would it be fair if you were convicted on the words: "It seems so"? I want you to actually think about this without me implying any answer: Apart from the accusations, what actual evidence is there that the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses make it easy to sexually abuse children? List anything you come up with (without looking up material from our opposers, stick to what you know from personal experience).

DoubtDoubts: #11 I actually messed up on my answer, when I said “it seems so” I misread the question and what I meant to say is that it is not easy to abuse kids [among Jehovah's Witnesses]. And I agree you need evidence to convict someone, not just “I think he did it”. Honestly the only time I ever hear about this is from apostates. When you hear it you are shocked because child abuse is a disgusting crime, and if we do that then it is so disappointing; but I tried to reason that Jehovah knows everything and that he will punish those in time. It seems like apostates like to use our emotions against us, which kind of happened to me at first. I know they always mention the 2 person rule, but other than that I don’t know much evidence.

JW Advisor: You hit the nail on the head. They want to manipulate emotions because they know their facts are insufficient. If they had sufficient facts to support their claims, they would not need to resort to trickery and deception. They would focus on just that one fact rather than scrounging through every little word in our publications that could be wrongly interpreted out of context.

An example of their acknowledgment of their insufficient facts is to grossly overstate the number of molesters and never checking their facts. They turn "5,000 pages of court documents" about 2 cases into 5,000 molesters. They turn 10,000 [supposed] accusations [in the history of the organization] worldwide into 10,000 molesters in Australia. They make 2 cases in one congregation 30 years apart into 2 molesters in every congregation. They turned a case about a single pedophile elder abusing a friend's child at their home into "institutionalized molestation" even though it was not an official visit, as that requires two elders. So, yeah, their lack of interest in facts is their weakness.

JW Advisor: 12. Do Jehovah's Witnesses persecute any other religion?

DoubtDoubts: #12, they talk about Christendom a lot especially Catholics as being false, but they do not do anything else to persecute them.

JW Advisor: #12 FOLLOWUP: How does speaking the truth about someone persecute them? If someone goes to jail for being an unrepentant thief caught red-handed, are you persecuting them for identifying them as such to others, especially if you are the victim?

DoubtDoubts: #12 You are right that talking about facts isn’t persecution. I guess sometimes it felt like it comes off as superior, I guess, like we JW’s are right and everything else is wrong. But I  mean every religion thinks they are right, and I don’t know if other religions talk about us or other religions as being false (I don’t know, I don’t think I attended other churches)

JW Advisor: Jehovah's Witnesses are actually the number one religion on their tongues. They have whole talks about us from their platforms. If you have done the preaching for any length of time, you have no doubt come across church-goers telling us what we believe, whether right or wrong. Some threaten us. This is because of what they have been told about us from their pulpits. The Adventists even specially train some of their members to act interested and keep us talking in circles at their doors so as not to continue in our ministry. I was asked to help with just such an Adventist and got caught up in the round-about. When I realized that the person was purposefully leading me in circles, I said it was time to go. I didn't realize these people were actually trained in this until a few years later, when I came across their training document online.

Would we be demonstrating faith if we were not sure we have the correct salvation message? We don't pretend to be right about everything. We acknowledge our need for adjustments, which is what makes us stand out. But the salvation message through Jesus Christ has never changed. Only the two groups with different resurrections was ever clarified, but the truth about Jehovah, his relationship to Jesus and the need for salvation from sin and death through Jesus has not changed since the founding of the Bible Students.

JW Advisor: 13. Do Jehovah's Witnesses control what you do, see, say or are exposed to under threat of penalty?

DoubtDoubts: #13, no.

JW Advisor: 14. Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever asked you to do anything that violated your conscience?

DoubtDoubts: #14, no they have not asked me anything like that. But sometimes it feels like they pressure me by asking a lot sometimes to become an Unbaptized Publisher/ Babtized. I know they mean well but sometimes it feels like pressure and makes me a little uncomfortable sometimes. I tell them that I am working on it, and I will be baptized when it’s in my heart; not just do it because I have to.

JW Advisor: #14 FOLLOWUP: It is good that you feel that way. But what is violating your conscience? That someone should be baptized? Or that you do not feel ready because of your own state of mind? Thus, can Jehovah's Witnesses truly be blamed for the condition of your conscience? It is unfortunate that some can lack discretion in promoting baptism, but has anyone officially instructed them to do so on behalf of the organization?

DoubtDoubts: #14 I sometimes don’t feel I am ready because of my state of mind. I feel like I am never good enough, and always disappointing Jehovah. But the brothers do mean well and they all think I am ready for baptism. It is mostly me holding myself back, I am always self-Critical (and I sort of get this Imposter syndrome). But I know it is an issue I have, and I am trying to work at it (I am a perfectionist. I put a very high stand on myself, and feel that I have to be a saint to be Baptized ; even though everyone tells me that’s not true). I want to make up my own mind so when people tell me what to do it makes me want to resist I suppose, and my mom who is not a publisher has the same personality. Most of the elders are gentle, but some can kind of feel a little pushy, but it is not their fault that I am so self-conscious.

JW Advisor: You are not alone. This was exactly how I felt before baptism until a spiritual attack convinced me that it was time to make my choice after a year and a half of study. (Though I was not as pressured to baptize as you have been.) A couple of my students also felt this way and I think it caused them ultimately not to commit. Really, if we needed to be perfect before baptism, no one could be baptized. Of course, in the first century, it was not backed up with paperwork that follows you for the rest of your life.

Many of our brothers and sisters felt that way at baptism, and many Bible students right now feel that way. It is very common. But know that your struggles are lighter than you realize. (1Co 10:13) Have you had immoral sexual relations with another person, committed idolatry, or drank blood? Your previous statements seem to indicate otherwise. Therefore you need only put faith in Jesus that your sins are forgiven, and trust in Jehovah's mercy. Personal sins have no condemnation in the Bible.

While Jesus said, "everyone who keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart," (Mt 5:28) he did not mean merely a lingering glance, though that certainly can lead to feelings. He was speaking of the motivation to chase after a married woman (adultery) for sexual intercourse based on letting such furtive glances continue ("keeps on") with a married woman to get out of hand. In the situation of an unmarried person, he or she need only find another single person of the opposite sex to marry in the Lord. (The word translated "woman" in the Greek, also means "married woman" or "wife"). Of course the unmarried man is going to look with desire at the unmarried woman he is courting, so that is not a sin, but can lead to such if unchecked.—2Co 6:14.

If difficulties with personal abuse are a concern, this should also not deter you. That is between you and Jehovah. There is no Scripture that condemns it and elders are no longer allowed to ask about it. (The organization no longer pushes Ge 38:9 because it was not about spilling semen, or else we would have to condemn condoms. The fact is, Onan did have sexual relations with the woman and the account is about Onan willfully disobeying Jehovah's will that he spoke to his grandfather Jacob at Ge 28:14.)

Just steer clear of entertainment with pornographic scenes and try not to visualize and you will do well. Jehovah created us as sexual creatures and knows our struggles. He has given us some amount of leeway by not addressing it in Scripture. We are simply counseled about self-control and inappropriate times to resolve sexual feelings. (compare 1Co 7:5, 36-38) Just do your best to work through sexual feelings. Idleness, and letting the mind wander on sexual things, is the enemy of self-control. But everyone has to deal with such things, even after baptism. The best way to spend downtime is to work on a personal project or build relationships with believing friends and family.

JW Advisor: 15. Do Jehovah's Witnesses practice anything that is a danger to the public?

DoubtDoubts: #15, no.

JW Advisor: 16. Are you required to live in a commune?

DoubtDoubts: #16, no.

JW Advisor: 17. Are you constantly watched for "abberant" behavior by "officers" among Jehovah's Witnesses?

DoubtDoubts: #17, no.

JW Advisor: 18. Is there a single man living on earth today who dictates all our teachings?

DoubtDoubts: #18, Sorry I am not really sure what the question is asking.

JW Advisor: #18 FOLLOWUP: One of the accusations about cults is a centralized pyramidal organizational structure with one man living on earth, a guru, pope or reverend, etc, known to all the devout, dictating doctrine from day to day. Do Jehovah's Witnesses have such a structure? This is just a common identifier. Christ was of this sort while on earth, but he had public miracles, fulfillment of prophecy and numerous witnesses of his resurrection, to back up his claims.

DoubtDoubts: #18 I guess the Governing Body, they tell us new light, and they bring out new things for the annual meeting. I know apostates say we act as a pyramid, but I haven’t wanted to look into it. 

JW Advisor: Though the term "new light" has slipped into a few articles in the past, the organization prefers the term "increased light" or something to that effect, because spiritual light is not "new". The Scripture only says that it gets brighter, and indeed it does. (2Pe 1:19) It is just something opposers use to rile us. Nearly all organizations, religious or otherwise, have a pyramidal structure. It does not at all define a cult. It is a feature of organization. Is God's kingdom a cult because Christ is at the top of a pyramidal organizational structure? Is a government of any kind a cult just because it is a government with a head? Is a company a cult because they are an organization with a head? Just because they can be a cult, it doesn't automatically make them one.

[There always needs to be a person or group deciding core issues. If not, there is only chaos with everyone going every which way and divisiveness results. The smaller the group making those decisions, the more focussed they can be and make adjustments more easily. The larger the group the more stagnant and indecisive the group will be, and any decisions they make are more likely to be controlled by worldly interests, instead of the interests of the group. This is the paradox of social dynamics.]

JW Advisor: 19. Do the elders try to stop you from thinking?

DoubtDoubts: #19, no.

JW Advisor: 20. Do any of Jehovah's Witnesses try to deprive you of sleep, food, water, light or freedom?

DoubtDoubts: #20, no.

JW Advisor: More non-cult-related questions:

21. Who is responsible for making decisions in your life?

DoubtDoubts: #21 myself. My parents and elders encourage me. And I try to live by Bible principles as much as I can, sometimes I struggle especially with entertainment because I grew up in the world. But I still choose to try my best.

JW Advisor: #21 FOLLOW UP: That is quite commendable. Keep making up your own mind. This means not letting people plant doubts in your mind. By letting people cause you to doubt even after you already have the facts, you are letting them control you. Keep choosing certainty. At 1 Thessalonians 5:22, besides saying, "make sure of all things," he also says, "hold on to what is fine." By letting people cause you to doubt what you already know, you are letting go of "what is fine." So stop letting go and start holding onto what you know, not allowing anyone to take it away from you.—Mr 4:25.

DoubtDoubts: #21 I try not to let others plant doubts, but I guess after a while it gets harder to ignore. 

JW Advisor: That is exactly what apostates exploit. Very few go apostate because they believed the lies about us outright. They do so because the spirit of apostates rub off on them through frequent exposure to apostate material. The attitude of questioning without seeking, or even caring about the facts is what apostates seek to train people in. The more you expose yourself to it, the more accustomed you become to the negative attitudes and insufficiently answered questions of our apostates. In time it becomes comfortable and the person finds themselves emulating the attitude.

JW Advisor: 22. Should you surrender your thinking to others, whether on TV, the internet or in your real life?

DoubtDoubts: #22 well no and yes. No because you should always have your own thoughts and feelings. But yes because for example I learned the truth while I was in high school (like 11 or 12 years ago) from my Dad. At the time I wasn’t really that interested but I didn’t want to disappoint him. But at the same time if I wanted to skip a meeting or Watchtower he would yell and guilt trip me. I also felt that I didn’t have much of a choice because if I chose not to be a Witness that Jehovah might kill me (or die at Armageddon). Years later I came to love Jehovah with my own heart especially with viewing creation and learning Psychology, and my Dad has relaxed a bit. I eventually became an unbaptized publisher 3 or 4 years ago, and was happy for a bit. But another thing is I am somewhat of a scientist so sometimes I struggle with evolution, especially the 6,000 years when there are fossils and caveman carbon dating stating that humans have been around a lot longer; and humans living for hundreds of years before mosses [Sic?]. But the other witnesses don’t believe in evolution so I would hide my evolution struggle and go along with the crowd and say that evolution is stupid.

JW Advisor: #22 FOLLOWUP: Obviously, your father is not the organization. Jehovah encourages us to think for ourselves and never surrender our thinking to others. Solomon surrendered his thinking to his foreign wives and look where that got him. (1Ki 11:4-7) If you feel like you are letting someone else dictate something for you without your conscious consent, then step up and throw off their mental shackles. We have freedom of mind through Jesus Christ, through whom we have truth. (Noh 14:6) God has the right to dictate right and wrong and we must make a conscious choice about whether we will obey him completely or not. (De 30:19, 20; 1Ki 18:21) We can also ask Jehovah to correct our thinking if it goes wayward. (Psalm 17:5) But we should not relinquish control of our thoughts to any man.

I used to have the same struggles with evolution that you are having, even after baptism. Here is how to get past it: face it head on and try to both prove it and disprove it. Can you prove evolution? I want you to truly try to prove evolution. For each proof, I want you to falsify the evidence, as any good scientist should. That is, identify what would prove the evidence and what would invalidate the evidence, write it all down. Learn to ask questions and seek answers.

Challenge and test the evidence as to whether it actually holds up as proof. (Compare 1 John 4:1) Steadfastly pursue their claims to their logical conclusions. This also means testing the methods of declaring evidence. For example, carbon dating has weaknesses. Find out how carbon dating, and other forms of chemical and radiological dating is done and what makes it "accurate" and what renders it inaccurate. What date range is its accuracy, if it is? How do they know it's accurate? Is their claim to accuracy justified? With genetics, read papers on evolution and learn to understand it. Look up terms. Then falsify it by poking holes in it. If a claim is true, then it will not fall apart when prodded.

You do not need to do all this right now. It takes time. Whenever you think you have found proof of evolution that you cannot falsify, then feel free to bring it to us. I will gladly take the time to review the material and see if I can find what you could not. (It helps to have a second pair of eyes. Also, I specialize in the subject.) Only actual source material should be used, not someone else's interpretive research. Never let someone else dictate their lopsided interpretation to you as fact. Interpretations are not facts. They're conjecture. God's word is our guide to interpretation.

DoubtDoubts: #22 You're right. My Dad is not the organization, but a lot of my experience with it was through him.  I always felt a guilt trip if I did anything he didn’t like, if I didn’t go to every meeting he would be mad; it made the meetings feel strict, I suppose, for a while anyway (but like I said, he respects me a lot more). But it was my choice to stay and continue to be a publisher; he didn’t make me, I guess now I am in a phase where I want to keep testing instead of just going along with it. As for evolution I haven’t started yet, and I am not really sure where I should start. Honestly it sounds a little anxiety inducing as if what if it just plants more seeds of doubt, but being able to get a second opinion sounds reassuring.

JW Advisor: Just take it as it comes to you, one thing at a time. Whatever question arises is the right place to start. It is indeed intimidating and daunting at first, and indeed a lot of work, but it also requires a lot of faith. If you go in certain that Jehovah will be vindicated, then you will be undaunted and you will find the evidence. But if you do it half-heartedly, you may find yourself easily swayed and bowled over by the opinions of the majority (the broad road). Being Jehovah's friend means that we trust him unconditionally (meaning, without caveats, which in turn means that we know him and how he operates, convinced that nothing is too difficult for him).

JW Advisor: 23. Why do you look for programs and reading material that criticises you or your religion? (Does it make you happy?)

DoubtDoubts: #23: I don’t generally go out of my way to look for apostate material, most of the time of just stumble across it and curiosity gets the better of me. A lot of times it’s out of anger seeing obvious lies and I want to see someone defending our faith and prove them wrong. Also I foolishly reason that my faith is strong enough to withstand it. And other times because my spirituality is growing so look for more Christian content. Years ago I watched most of a video from one of my favorite YouTubers and watched it out of curiosity. It was about him telling that he was a former witness, and he had a bad experience with the elders (they would counsel him on many little things, including wearing a Michael Jackson T Shirt). He seemed genuine and didn’t seem to lie about anything. I stopped watching him but I haven’t been the same since. I was starting to forget it and get over it then I saw something on a Christian message board  a couple of months ago (Yahweh is more accurate, then I saw something on child abuse) It just kind of reopened old wounds and the doubts tripled, and I became miserable and depressed again.

JW Advisor: #23 FOLLOWUP: At least you understand the negative impact that untested claims can have. When you can't turn it off, then do a deep dive, down the rabbit hole, straight to the source material in context. Sometimes the best way out is through. Because, if you can't get past the claim, then you have to falsify it by both proving and disproving it or else the unanswered questions will cripple you like a cramped leg and then drown you.

DoubtDoubts: #23 interesting advice that sometimes it is good to go through the rabbit hole, I think my problem is if I don’t agree with something and it causes doubts. I try to deny it or bury it but it comes back; and it causes a sort of cognitive dissonance. But when I went to a JW forum and saw their side of the child abuse scandal it almost instantly alleviated most of my doubts. It was when I was trying to ignore it that it caused me distress.

JW Advisor: Indeed, a person has to decide what they are going to believe. In so doing, they have two choices: 1) Follow the rabbit, or 2) choose arbitrarily. If they choose arbitrarily, they are doing so without certainty, but Jehovah does not punish such as long as they stick to their choice to serve him in faith. But they should be aware that it will always be a weakness that could come back to bite them in a time of low spiritual strength. That you are willing to make the effort is a good thing.

JW Advisor: 24. What would your life be like if you went back to the world?

DoubtDoubts: #24, Honestly probably wouldn’t be that different, I had similar high morals before becoming a witness. The most that would change would be less picky about my video games/ movies, I would probably get worried about getting college. Maybe I would be shy again since the brothers and sisters really helped me a lot from my Social Anxiety.

JW Advisor: #24 FOLLOWUP: Do you think you might get politically involved? (Perhaps in political strife?) Might you get involved with a sexual relationship outside of marriage and all the struggles, uncertainty and potential pitfalls? Do you think you would be able to find a person who shares your beliefs and values? Would she hold firmly with you through thick and thin or bail when things get a little rough, or worse, when things get "boring"? Would you grow into a pillar of strength and wise decisions and counsel that many of our elders demonstrate? (Not all, granted, there are elders with some serious flaws. We're all only human after all.) Would you learn to apply the fruitages of the spirit without Christian unity?

DoubtDoubts: #24 I don’t know if I would be a radically different person, I have more or less been the same even before I learned the truth. I always had high moral standards, I was kind of obsessed with morals and laws (could be an Autism/OCD related, but I don’t know). I am 32 and I do feel lonely that I never found anyone yet, so maybe I would try to hook up with someone; I think I would wait for marriage before sex but who really knows. But no I don’t think that she would have the same values as me, but I would still try to be the best husband I can be. As for politics I was never interested in politics but I was always a humanitarian so I might have joined peaceful protests like the Black Lives Matter/George Floyd movement, or maybe even an advocate for gay rights.

JW Advisor: Taking a look at the consequences of not choosing Jehovah's way and comparing it to the largely peaceful life we now have serving Jehovah according to his prescribed way through Jesus can help strengthen faith because, clearly, Jehovah's way works.

JW Advisor: Regarding blaspheming the holy spirit (unforgivable sin), you can only do so by willfully lying or acting against the holy spirit. Mistakes towards the holy spirit, even sins that you knew were wrong, but did them anyway due to lack of self-conttrol, are forgiveable. So even many apostates can be foriven if they return, but others will never be forgiven. For instance, before I was baptized, I met one who knew this was the truth and chose to oppose us anyway. He will never be forgiven. Ironically, he was the most honest apostate I ever had the displeasure of talking to. I used to talk to them all the time, battling over their lies, even after baptism, before I learned that I could be disfellowshipped for it. Something I had glossed over in the Organized book and the Bible. In obeying that counsel, I am no longer burdened by my interactions with apostates or apostate material and my difficulties in the faith subsided.

DoubtDoubts: Yeah the unforgivable sin had ensnared me for so long, I was struggling with it for over a decade and I wished that I told someone sooner. I really hated myself and didn’t have much hope that God loved me. I was mostly going through the motions, but as I got better, I knew what it was and that those were not my real thoughts. I became an unbaptized publisher and was happy for a bit, but the Scrupulosity came back with a vengeance. And for a few years straight I was feeling constant stress and guilt all the time, and I had just wished that God would just kill me or that I get hit by a car or something. I wanted to tell someone so badly but I was afraid, but then after some goading from my Dad I decided to talk to the elders and I even told my parents as well. Since then I have felt better, I still get negative thoughts about it, and I still wonder if I am worthy enough to survive Armageddon. But I try to recognize that, and I try not to beat myself up too much.

JW Advisor: Again, you are not alone. I had lifelong depression until 2012. In 2010 I sought psychological help, as I had trauma that the elders were not equipped for, and as I worked to turn around with Jehovah's help, using the Scriptures to make sure I did not fall prey to the flighty theories of psychologists, I recovered. We all need to lean upon a support system that will help free us from the past and move on to the future.

We tend to judge ourselves far worse than Jehovah does. It helps to remember all those whom God has judged in the past. At the flood, those people had grown to believe Satan's lie that God would do nothing bad, but they did not doubt God's existence because most were only one contemporary generation removed from Adam, heard Enoch's preaching, and the story of Creation. No doubt many others were simply complacent and unconcerned. (Ge 6:1-6, 11, 12) At Sodom and Gomorrah, those who were not depraved were unwilling to protect the innocent. And, of course, Lot's sons-in-law did not believe and his wife loved the system of things more than Jehovah. (Ge 19:1-26) Saul was judged for his consistent and blatant disobedience and presumptuous disregard of Jehovah's channel. (1Sa 13:1-14) The Amorites were judged for opposing God's people. (1Sa 15:2, 3; 1Sa 15:28, 29) Uzzah was judged for his presumptuous and faithless act toward Jehovah's throne. (2Sa 6:6, 7) Nineveh was judged for its bloodthirsty practices. (Na 2:8-3:19) Israel and Judah were both judged for idolatry (Mic 1:6-9), excessive greed (Amos 6:1-14), depravity (2Ki 17:16-18) and for killing Jehovah's prophets. (Mt 23:37, 38)

All of these were judged, not for little sins, but for their brazen disobedience, as if Jehovah could not act. And you could go on to recount impatient idolaters (Ex 32:1-28), challengers of Jehovah's channel (Nu 16:1-35), complainers against Jehovah (Nu 21:4-9), thieves of things devoted to Jehovah (Jos 22:20; Acts 5:1-11), false prophets who lead people away from Jehovah (Jer 28: 15-17), killers of Jehovah's prophets (Mt 23:37), those who rebelliously believe what they want to believe about Jehovah against his word. (1Ki 13:1-26). In all these and others, it was Jehovah they willfully sinned against, not for lack of self-control, but for lack of faith. In all other things Jehovah is merciful as long as one puts faith in Jesus's ransom sacrifice and seeks Jehovah, meekness and righteousness.—Zph 2:3; Romans 3:21-23.

So remember these things when you feel unworthy because of minor sins. Jehovah is loving, patient and merciful, and he understands our weaknesses.—Psalm 103:1-22.

DoubtDoubts: I have been feeling better, I feel your responses did help me, and the way you talked about certainty was interesting and I hadn’t really thought about it that way, but it made sense. I am still not back to normal, definitely better and more stable. Last night I think I was having intrusive thoughts about what if we are a cult, but it didn’t debilitate me like it had and I felt a lot better after getting some sleep. So I really do appreciate the advice!

JW Advisor: It takes practice and maintenance to keep remembering these things. Revisit these things frequently in your mind so that you can build up a wall against such intrusive thoughts.

The term "cult" is highly subjective. To Trinitarians, it means anyone who does not believe Jesus is God and is interchangeable with "sect", though they have grown to avoid the term "antichrist", I suspect because it tends to backfire. To so-called anti-cult specialists it means whatever it means to the people that pay them their exorbitant fees. "Cult" is merely used as a boogeyman term. To agnostic or atheist non-psychologists it means any religion the media dubs a cult or else means any religion that expects their members to be devoted to their precepts against social norms. Though most people cannot define a cult when asked (I have never gotten an answer from anyone I asked in person). I will be establishing these viewpoints and debunking most cult identifiers at the revamped Dismythed website. I recommend reading those as they come out. JW's will not be the only religion to benefit from those posts because my goal is that the posts will be completely neutral, focussed only on the facts.

DoubtDoubts: Thank you for listening/ helpful advice. Talking openly like this feels therapeutic (I haven’t seen a therapist, and my [dad?] says to be weary that they plant doubts; and honestly it is a last resort type thing anyway). And this experience has made me learn that hiding and denying issues solves nothing, and instead just blows up in your face. I am hoping that talking to you guys about my doubts can strengthen my faith, instead of making it weaker by not talking about it.

JW Advisor: We'll be here whenever you need.

That is a fine lesson to learn. Be sure to take it to heart so that you can remember it every time indecisiveness comes around. Make the decision and stick to it. As with anything, it gets easier with practice.

DoubtDoubts: You answered everything nicely and well, I wanted to say THANK YOU; you guys helped me out!