JW Advisor: How Do I Address Gender Identity in My Ministry?

JW Advisor: This is a personal question that has been coming to mind. I am addressing it here because it has not yet been addressed in our publications.

It is fairly obvious that the new ultra-feminism that has taken over in the entertainment industry and politics is a very small, but extremely vocal minority that is seeking to get the rest of the world to conform to their way. God’s people, however, do not conform to the world’s ways that conflict with Jehovah’s righteous standards. (1 John 2:15; James 4:4) That said, we still respect the right of individuals in this world to hold their own beliefs. So how do we address gender identity if someone asks us to refer to them by a specific gender pronoun that defies God’s two-gender arrangement?

Why Does It Matter?

The matter of gender choice is a fundamental one. To claim the right to choose one’s gender defies the arrangement put into place by Jehovah God himself. (Matthew 19:4, 5) To claim to be female when a person is actually male or visa versa is also dishonest, a deception. It is even described as offensive to Jehovah (Deuteronomy 22:5) To claim oneself to be a “non-binary” gender of one kind or other is also a deception.

What this issue raises is a matter of sexual morality. When a person says, “I am of such-and-such gender” to mean something other than their genetic gender, they are referring to their sexual preference. If that sexual preference is anything other than the opposite genetic binary gender while retaining their own genetic sexual identity, then they are referring to immoral sexual relations or no sexual relations at all. There, of course, is no issue with abstaining from sex (which is not a gender identity), but sexual relations with anyone or anything other than a sexually mature human person of the opposite sex who identifies by their genetic sexual identity to whom you are legally married is against the natural order set in place by God, (Leviticus 18:6-23; Acts 15:28, 29) so a Christian loyal to Jehovah would not adopt that way of thinking.

Their New “Name”

It is okay to call a person by any name by which they seek to be called, regardless of whether it sounds contrary to their actual gender as long as the name does not promote immorality. That would be the same as if someone changed their legal name or wants us to call them by their nickname. (Genesis 17:5; Daniel 1:7)

If this makes you uncomfortable, just remember that names that are often identified as masculine or feminine do not always make clear the person’s gender. Both men and women are named “Tracey” or nicknamed “Sam” for example. So we can call them by that name without violating the principle as long as our pattern of speech does not conform to worldly ways. Though if it still makes you feel uncomfortable, you might call them by a nickname that you can both be comfortable with, such as calling a transgender person who identifies as “Susan” as “San” or “Sans”.

How to Handle Requests for Gender Identity

First, we should never compromise Jehovah’s standards by conforming to any unscriptural worldly norms, including gender choice, even if the law of men requires it. (Acts 5:29) In whatever way the discussion progresses, never allow yourself to be heated up. Stay calm and at peace. We should also avoid broaching the subject ourselves, as it is very contentious. Let the person you are speaking to be the one to bring it up. If you live in a country where it is legally required to ask for gender pronouns from everyone you meet, such as Canada, you may do so and then proceed to refer to them by gender-neutral pronouns.

Any time a person asks you to identify them with a specific pronoun, you may say, “Thank you for letting me know.” Then, any time you refer to them in a way that would normally use a gender-specific pronoun, you may either call them by their name or use neutral pronouns like “they”, them”, “their” and “this person”. This is the same for those who have undergone so-called “gender reassignment surgery” or who erroneously identify as an “hermaphrodite” because of undifferentiated genitalia or have breasts along with male genitalia.

The use of neutral pronouns have been used for gender-fluid grammar from mankind’s beginning. It exists in almost every language. Though, while in English neutral pronouns are expressed by plural pronouns, in some languages, the male pronoun is used to indicate neutral gender, and in others female pronouns are used. Whatever pronouns represent the neutral gender in the language you are speaking, use those pronouns in order to minimize offense. If you are asked what pronouns you wish to be called by, simply say “male pronouns” or “female pronouns”. There is no need to get more specific than that.

Handling Objections

If someone gets offended by your always referring to them with neutral pronouns or their name, assure them that you respect their choice not to identify by non-binary pronouns, then ask them to respect your beliefs and explain that you are compromising as far as your beliefs allow by referring to the person by neutral pronouns or their preferred name. Assure them also, that their beliefs are not a hindrance to your talking to them lovingly and respectfully.

If their objection continues, try giving them an appropriate illustration, such as, “When two people love and respect each other, they do not expect the other person to do what that person does not want to do. For example, if there is love, one person will not try to force the other person to have sexual intercourse. Instead, they respect the other person’s autonomy and right to choose for their self how they will conduct their self. If the first person expresses a desire for sexual intercourse, the other person may be flattered, indifferent or offended, but they respect that they were not forced to conform to the other person’s desires. If that is so in the big things, such as sexual intercourse, then it should also be in other things, such as personal beliefs. Would you not agree that personal autonomy is every person’s right?”

However, that might not always work. The modern ultra-feminist movement was born out of socialist ideals in which personal freedoms may be required to be sacrificed for the supposed larger community or so-called “greater good”. So they may object to the above illustration on those grounds and insist that you conform to their law. But do not get into a political debate. There is never any need to mention the political origins of any belief, nor should we seek to convince them that they are wrong. Nothing good ever comes from such debate. And most importantly, stay humble, do not act morally superior or appear as though you have the moral high ground. All of us are sinners and constantly in need of Jesus’ ransom.

You may demonstrate the point in the above illustration by saying, “I respect your right to your beliefs.” Then you might say, “I am awaiting the fulfillment of a promise that the earth will one day be free of wars and personal aggressions, and all people will seek peace with one another. Would you mind if I show you that promise in the Bible?” Feel free to use any subject to divert the discussion in order to find common ground. But sometimes that will be impossible and you just have to accept it and move on.

A Wearisome Vocabulary

The vocabulary that the public is being unreasonably asked to adopt in relation to gender choice is extensive and growing frequently. A Christian does not need to burden their self with memorizing any such terms. To do so is not a wise use of one's time and energy. (Eph 5:15-17)

The Pharisees in Jesus' day were steeped in specialized terminology, and it led to their feeling elitely special for their knowing things others do not. (1Co 8:1) This in turn led to an attitude of disdain for anyone who was not likewise trained. (John 7:49)

Regarding the learning of this sort, the congregator wrote: "The words of the wise are like oxgoads, and their collected sayings are like firmly embedded nails; they have been given from one shepherd. As for anything besides these, my son, be warned: To the making of many books there is no end, and much devotion to them is wearisome to the flesh."—Ecclesiastes 12:11, 12

This means that the Scriptures contain all we need for our understanding. To devote ourselves to anything more is "wearisome to the flesh." So be kind to yourself and spare yourself the concern over tedious matters that are unrelated and contrary to spiritual things.

Instructing Students

If the time comes to address the subject with a student after they have demonstrated a love of God’s word and are progressing in the truth, it may be addressed peacefully by drawing them out to express their love for God and his written word and their trust in it. Once they have expressed those sentiments without undue influence, it will be easier to help them to reason on Genesis 1:27. You may also share with them Genesis 2:24 and Matthew 19:4, 5. Scriptures that will help a student to understand the gravity of this truth are Numbers 23:19 and Titus 1:2. To suggest that one can choose their gender identity is against the one who made them to have that identity from conception. (Romans 3:4)

If a person wishes to become one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, but refuses to give up ideas of gender choice beyond the binary arrangement put in place by God and inviolably enforced by human genetics by his design, they should not qualify for baptism.

Discipline

Anyone who adopts the belief in gender choice after baptism may be restricted from privileges in the congregation and even the ministry on the basis of their permissiveness toward sexual immorality. If they try to promote such a view by word or conduct, then they may be seen as dissident to the peace of the congregation and appropriate action may be taken by their local body of elders to secure the peace in the Christian congregation. (Romans 16:17, 18)

Helpful Links

The following articles may be helpful toward understanding this subject:

The Bible’s Viewpoint: Alternative Life-Styles​—Does God Approve?, October 8, 2003 Awake!, pp. 13-15

Failure of the "Gay Gene" Argument